Talking Out of the Side of Your Mouth – Idiom Deep Dive

Language is a powerful tool. It helps us express emotions, share ideas, and influence others. But sometimes, words hide deeper meanings. That’s where idioms come in—they capture human behavior, often in ways that are subtle yet impactful.

One such phrase, “talking out of the side of your mouth,” is a fascinating idiom that touches on deception, diplomacy, and strategy. It describes someone who says one thing while meaning another or speaks differently depending on their audience. But is this always dishonest, or is it sometimes a smart way to navigate tricky situations?

In this deep dive, we’ll break down the phrase from every angle, covering:

By the end, you’ll understand not only its definition but also its real-world implications. Whether you’ve heard the phrase before or not, this guide will give you insights into a behavior that happens more often than you think.

The Meaning of “Talking Out of the Side of Your Mouth”

Core Definition

At its core, “talking out of the side of your mouth” refers to someone who says one thing but means another. It can also describe a person who tells different people different things to suit their needs.

It’s often associated with dishonesty, insincerity, or manipulation, but not always. In some cases, it reflects diplomacy, social awareness, or self-preservation.

Common Usages

The phrase is used in various situations, including:

While these examples highlight dishonesty, there are times when strategic communication plays a role.

Deception vs. Strategy: A Fine Line

Aspect	Deceptive Use	Strategic Use
Intent	To mislead or manipulate	To navigate social situations
Example	A scammer making false promises	A diplomat choosing words carefully
Outcome	Erodes trust and credibility	Builds relationships and influence

While the negative side of this idiom is often emphasized, understanding when and why people do it is key.

Origins and Evolution of the Idiom

Where Did This Phrase Come From?

The origins of “talking out of the side of your mouth” aren’t fully documented, but linguistic historians believe it has roots in non-verbal communication.

One theory suggests that speaking from the side of the mouth is associated with secrecy and whispering. If someone wants to share information discreetly, they may tilt their head and lower their voice, making it appear as though they’re speaking from one side.

Another theory connects it to body language and deception. Research in psychology suggests that people who lie often display asymmetry in their facial expressions, such as slightly speaking from one side of their mouth.

Possible Linguistic Roots

• Whispering and secrecy – People often speak from the side of their mouth when telling secrets.
• Deception and asymmetry – Dishonest speech is sometimes reflected in facial cues.
• Cultural expressions – Many languages have similar idioms related to double-talk or hidden intent.

Regional and Cultural Variations

The idea of speaking with hidden motives exists in many cultures. Here are some similar idioms from around the world:

Each of these phrases reflects a similar concept: speech that doesn’t match true intentions.

Modern Evolution of the Phrase

Today, the phrase is still widely used but has evolved with digital communication. On social media, people often present a curated version of their thoughts, sometimes contradicting their true beliefs.

For example:

• A celebrity may publicly support a cause while privately opposing it.
• A company may promise sustainability but cut costs behind the scenes.
• An influencer may appear authentic while secretly following a script.

As communication evolves, so does the subtlety of side-talk.

Breaking Down the Metaphor: Why “Side-Talking”?

The Power of Non-Verbal Communication

A large part of communication happens non-verbally. Studies suggest that up to 93% of meaning in face-to-face interactions comes from tone, facial expressions, and body language.

So why the “side of the mouth”?

When people speak dishonestly or reveal hidden intentions, they may:

• Glance sideways while speaking
• Lower their voice to avoid being overheard
• Speak with an uneven facial expression (a subtle clue of insincerity)

How Body Language Exposes Side-Talking

Body Language Cue	What It May Indicate
Avoiding eye contact	Hiding something or feeling guilty
Smiling only on one side	Insincerity or sarcasm
Speaking quietly and looking around	Fear of being overheard

Similar Expressions Across Cultures

• “Forked tongue” (Native American origin) – Refers to dishonest speech.
• “Two-faced” (Western cultures) – Implies duplicity or hypocrisy.
• “Speaking behind someone’s back” – Suggests secrecy and betrayal.

While the exact wording differs, the core meaning remains universal.

Talking Out of the Side of Your Mouth in Everyday Contexts

Language shapes how we interact with the world, and the phrase “talking out of the side of your mouth” is a perfect example of how communication can be layered with subtlety, deception, or strategy. This section will explore how this idiom plays out in daily interactions, covering different social, professional, and cultural contexts.

How This Phrase Applies to Everyday Life

We all encounter side-talkers—people who say one thing in one setting and something completely different in another. But why do people do this? In some cases, it’s a form of self-protection; in others, it’s manipulation or dishonesty.

Here are a few ways this idiom plays out in daily life:

1. Social Circles: Someone who tells their friend they support them, but behind their back, they criticize their choices.
2. Workplace Politics: An employee who tells their boss they are fully dedicated to a project, while telling colleagues they think it’s a waste of time.
3. Romantic Relationships: A partner who promises commitment but secretly keeps their options open.
4. Family Dynamics: A family member who agrees with both sides of an argument to avoid conflict.
5. Customer Service: A business that reassures customers while quietly cutting corners behind the scenes.

Each of these scenarios demonstrates how double-talk operates in different areas of life. The key question is whether this behavior is harmful or strategic.

Why Do People Engage in Side-Talking?

Understanding the reasons behind talking out of the side of your mouth helps us recognize when it’s happening and how to respond.

Not all side-talking is negative. Sometimes, it’s simply a way to navigate social norms or maintain relationships. The problem arises when it becomes habitual dishonesty.

Real-Life Example: The Office Double-Talker

Consider an employee, Mark, who works in a high-pressure corporate environment. He constantly tells his manager he’s dedicated to a project, yet complains to his colleagues about how pointless it is.

At first, this seems harmless—just workplace frustration. But over time, his boss finds out about his double-talk, and Mark loses credibility. His peers no longer trust him because they know he’s saying one thing to them and another to management.

Lesson: In professional settings, credibility is everything. If people sense you’re talking out of both sides of your mouth, trust disappears quickly.

The Role of Side-Talking in Professional Environments and Diplomacy

How Side-Talking Works in the Workplace

In professional environments, double-talk can be a survival skill or a career-ending mistake. Some people use it to navigate office politics, while others fall into the trap of being perceived as insincere or untrustworthy.

Here are common ways this idiom applies to the workplace:

• Managers sugarcoating bad news – A boss tells employees their jobs are safe while secretly planning layoffs.
• Employees telling different things to colleagues and superiors – Someone agrees with their team about disliking a project but praises it in meetings.
• Companies misleading customers – A business that promotes ethical practices but doesn’t follow them internally.

Example: The infamous case of Volkswagen’s Dieselgate scandal is a real-world example of a company saying one thing but doing another. They marketed their cars as environmentally friendly while secretly cheating on emissions tests.

Side-Talking in Diplomacy and Politics

Diplomats and politicians constantly balance different narratives. Sometimes, this is necessary, like when negotiating peace treaties or handling international conflicts. However, it also leads to accusations of hypocrisy.

Notable Political Example:

• During political campaigns, candidates often promise reforms but later shift their stance based on public opinion or pressure from lobbyists.
• Governments sometimes claim to support human rights while making alliances with countries that violate them.

How to Identify Side-Talking in Professional Settings

Here are some red flags that someone might be talking out of the side of their mouth in professional or diplomatic settings:

✔ Inconsistent Messaging – They say different things to different audiences.
✔ Evasion of Direct Questions – They avoid giving a clear answer.
✔ Contradictory Statements – Their words don’t match their actions.
✔ Exaggerated Promises – They make grand claims that seem too good to be true.

Being aware of these signs helps you separate genuine communication from manipulation.

The Psychology of Side-Talking: Why People Do It

Understanding why people engage in double-talk helps us respond wisely. Psychologists believe that this behavior is often driven by social survival instincts.

Psychological Reasons for Side-Talking

• Self-Preservation – People lie or twist words to protect themselves from consequences.
• Social Acceptance – Some individuals adapt their words to fit in with different groups.
• Fear of Conflict – Many avoid telling the truth to keep the peace.
• Power and Influence – Skilled negotiators use side-talk to control narratives and outcomes.

Case Study: The Celebrity PR Game

Famous personalities often say one thing in public and another in private. Consider a celebrity who publicly supports a movement but is later exposed for contradictory actions.

Example: In 2020, many brands and celebrities spoke out in favor of social justice movements. However, some were later criticized for continuing business practices that contradicted their public stance.

What does this teach us?

• People sometimes say things just to look good.
• Actions matter more than words.
• The public is becoming more aware of these contradictions.

Final Thoughts: How to Respond to Side-Talking

So, what should you do when you suspect someone is talking out of the side of their mouth? Here’s how to handle it smartly:

Being aware of side-talkers can help you navigate relationships, workplace dynamics, and media narratives with greater clarity.

FAQs

Q: Is talking out of the side of your mouth always bad?

A: Not always. Sometimes, it’s a form of diplomacy or social strategy. The key is intent—is it deception or necessary communication?

Q: How do you handle someone who constantly talks out of the side of their mouth?

A: Observe their actions, ask direct questions, and maintain a critical mindset.

Q: Why do politicians and businesses engage in side-talking?

A: To maintain public approval, avoid conflict, and control narratives. However, when exposed, it damages credibility.